Otherly Love

Question? What happened to adhering to the established protocols of behavior and common courtesy that impact the greater good?

The Oxford Dictionary defines rule(s) as: one of a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere.

In America (US) it seems like the pandemic really changed us. Not just in terms of the numbers of lives that were extinguished, but the way it also impacted our behaviors by removing common sense and courtesy from the minds of many when it comes to interacting with others (key word). 

Prior to the pandemic, it was practically unheard of to hear about and see (courtesy of social media) passengers assaulting flight crews and other passengers, because they could not have something. In 2023, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) received over 2,050 reports of unruly passengers and levied fines of over $7.5 million dollars. In 2021, the number of reports more than doubled with close to 6,000. Luckily, the trend is dropping. So far in 2024, there have only been 649 reports, but the year isn’t over. The FAA doesn’t mess around with people behaving badly and can propose a fine of $37,000 per violation. Flying makes me nervous enough anyway without having to think about whether or not some yahoo will choose this moment to act out. And if so, would I have the courage to restrain the troublemaker? I think that I would, but really hope this doesn’t ever happen on any of my future flights. 

Air travel statistically is still safer than car travel. A recent Forbes magazine listed Portland, Oregon (the City of Roses) as one of the top 10 cities with the worst drivers. Sadly, I would have to agree. When I lived in Los Angeles, I thought driver’s there were among the worst in the nation but some Portlanders have taken driving to a new, lower, level. Red lights and stop signs seem like they are mere suggestions for these drivers. Whether I am walking or driving, I see drivers running red lights and rolling through stop signs like the rules of the road don’t apply to them. We frequently have traffic fatalities in Portland due to excessive speeds, distractions, or chemically-influenced drivers. As a driver, I have seen people texting, reading books, applying makeup, drinking a 40-ouncer, and smoking non-tobacco products, and sometimes even in combination, all behind the wheel. 

I’ve always considered driving a bit of a privilege and wouldn’t want to do anything to lose it. Maybe that’s because I didn’t get a driver’s license until I was 21. I’ll be honest, I really don’t like driving very much. I can attribute that to almost being killed by a driver who ran a stop sign. He blew through the intersection T-boning me and totaling my brand new car that was less than a week old off the lot. What made it worse is the driver didn’t have insurance either. Even today, when I approach intersections, I do so with caution for fear of a repeat incident. The other reason is while living overseas, I didn’t need a car. I lived in Holland (Amsterdam) and most folks commute by bike, tram, or walk. For long distance trips, train travel is the mode of choice rather than a car. Portland is lucky to have decent transit and bike lanes, for an American city. That provides us, residents in the Portland metro area, with more sustainable options to get around the city. I like having a sense of freedom to go anywhere, without getting in my car all the time. When I ride my bike, I get to easily stop to appreciate the beautiful tree filled parks and area gardens we have on my ride home.  

Anyone who has flown into Portland International Airport for the first time usually comments about the abundance of trees we are fortunate to have here. In 2017, so much greenery was destroyed in the Eagle Creek fire by a 15-year old playing with fireworks in bone dry timber. The fire burned over 45,000 acres in Oregon and Washington. In 2022, Portland banned the use of fireworks in the city limits, which in my opinion, makes perfectly good sense. 

Before I’m labeled as being unpatriotic, I do enjoy a good fireworks display. And like most things, there’s a time and place for everything. I think having fireworks in controlled and public space such as a beach, arena, waterfront, or park can be better for everyone’s enjoyment if they choose to participate. 

Now that we are moving into the dryer months, the threat of fires looms large again. The Fourth of July holiday is never a favorite for me, for us, because it means several long nights of very little sleep and trying to comfort Pato, our cat. Despite being banned, it still hasn’t stopped people from having their own personal pyrotechnic displays in the streets throughout the city. Because it stays lighter longer, the prime time for shooting off rockets’ red glare with what sounds like real bombs (M-80s, M-100s) bursting in air seems to be between the hours of 10pm and 12am. In most cities, there are noise ordinance rules in place limiting sound disturbances. Portland is no exception. The city of Portland noise ordinance is in effect from 10pm to 7am. Unfortunately, some fireworks often linger until the early hours of the morning. Days later, it’s not uncommon to find spent fireworks on our roof and in our backyard. Luckily, the hubster (Eric) and I have a home with a metal roof and fiber cement siding as a fire deterrent, but not all homes in our neighborhood are built equally. I wish that those individuals shooting off fireworks in our densely populated neighborhoods, would think about the harm they cause to others such as military veterans who may suffer PTSD, pets, and the elderly when they act in opposition to the rules. There are also fines and other penalties if someone is caught using illegal fireworks.

When rules are involved, there is always going to be a bit of bending, flexing, and testing to see what we can get away with. Heck, I’ve been known to jaywalk from time to time (safely, of course) if I’m eager to get to my destination. I have learned to look both ways before crossing the street to avoid injury to myself, and to others. With rules, there is generally enforcement built into the process to avoid people running amuck and screwing things up for those who want to walk the line of good civic behavior. Some cities are better at that than others, but who is impacted most, and how to enforce rules justly is a whole other conversation. 

I get it, no one likes being told what they have to do or what they can’t have. But for better and for worse, we’re in this life together I often say. Maybe it’s time we practice “otherly love” whereby we think about others and the potentially dangerous public consequences of our actions when we don’t. It really could be a matter of life and death.